Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Am I coming home...or leaving it?

I wrote this blog while flying home for the Holidays:

I am currently on my flight home.  It’s 2:15 in the morning in Baltimore.  It’s been a long day.  But I’m so close.
This has obviously been my first time coming home since I started living in Baltimore.  I wonder; has anything changed?  Have I changed?  Have my friends changed?  I’m confident that the answer is yes, so the real question should be, what is going to be different?
I know that my friends will be expecting me to go back to living in the same way that I did before I left.  This cannot happen unfortunately.  Actually, I’m not even sure if I would want it to happen.  I have seen too much, I have experienced too much in the past four months to pretend that I have not changed as a person.
When asked if I think I have changed I know what my answer will be.  It’s the only answer I ever give when I’m asked that question.  I answer, “I hope so.”  
One of my favorite things to look back at is how I was just a year before and to examine the ways that I’ve changed, that I’ve grown.  It is remarkable to think that every time I have done this I realize that I have changed profoundly and that the person I am now is the best person I have been.  Yet I know there is still much learning and growing to do.  It’s a never ending journey, and it’s affecting me profoundly.
So how have I changed?  I would say I’m more aware.  I always spoke about the atrocities of the world but I never experienced them first hand, or really had a vested interest in them.  I would complain about homelessness, and war, and all the other issues facing our world, but I wasn’t do anything about it.  I can finally say that now I am.  I am also more committed to the idea of living simply, as I wrote in my last entry, even though there is tremendous room for growth.  I would also like to think I have become a more open person, a more loving person, a more patient person, but I know I also need to work on my dedication to my community, and to strive to grow in my spirituality.
But will I maintain these changes when I spend this week at home?  Again, I hope so.
I’m not sure how I feel about this idea of home.  One of my favorite quotes from the movie Garden State is when Zach Braff says he no longer has this sense of home, a place where he truly feels comfortable, like the place he grew up. Instead he just has a place where he can store his stuff and return to a couple times per year.
I’ve come to the realization that this statement accurately reflects my concept of home.  In that I don’t really feel I have one.  Of course I have my mom’s place, where I am always welcome and love being with her, but things have changed in recent years.  This is no surprise.
I haven’t felt at home in Salem since my father passed, it is always a struggle for me to return.  I no longer have the house I grew up in, my own room, decorated exactly how I left it.  Instead I have a storage unit, holding onto all my childhood memories.
But how do I get this feeling of home back?  It’s something that’s been lacking for so long that it seems like I’ll never have it again.  I loved all the living situations I was in during college, and I love my community in Baltimore, but I don’t think anyone I lived with would describe them as homes.  We just have a place to stay for a year while we’re busing doing other things.
Home can be in other things though, and I feel like I have pieces of that throughout different areas of my life.  Returning to Oregon after a crazy four months away has really helped me to see how dependent I was on my family and friends before leaving and how much I’ve missed the conversations, the laughter, the hugs.
So maybe I won’t have a home in the near future.  I think I’m ok with that.  I am going to bring my idea of home back to Baltimore with me and use it in my everyday interactions with people.  How I live my life for the next eight months through the ideas and values I was raised on, will help me bring myself closer to my roommates, the other JVs, my clients, my coworkers.  And maybe, just maybe, I can once again have the sense of being home.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

So Others May Simply Live - Thoughts on Simple Living

Throughout my year in JVC I am supposed to live out and be committed to the four values of JVC.  One of these values, and certainly the most enticing to me, was the concept of simple living.  I can’t really say why I was most drawn to this value, community, social justice, and spirituality are also dominant parts of my life.  
I think my mindset at the beginning of the year was that I would have the community and social justice values down pat because I would be living them out daily.  If I am not a work then I am most likely at home, and vice-versa.  And spirituality, which was a major factor in me choosing JVC over other volunteer programs, honestly was the least important to me of the values.  As you can see, I was over simplifying these values tremendously.
But I felt comfortable with simple living.  I felt that out of all the values of JVC I had the most experience with simple living.  Thinking proudly to myself of what an awesome I must be I thought about the ways I lived simply before I even entered JVC.  I had spent more than a year eating strictly vegetarian, I rode my bike to most places, I tried my hardest to avoid large chains, I recycled and composted, I tried to not buy many things like clothes, especially if they were not needed, and I tried to read instead of watching TV.
But my heart was never really in it.  I ate (and still do) a considerable amount of meat, I used my car way more than necessary, I loved places like Winco, I ate out too often, bought a lot of stupid stuff, and spent a lot of time with my ass planted in front of the TV.  Had I made progress from where I was before I tried to live simply?  Of course.  Was I doing it for the right reasons?  I’m not quite sure.
Unfortunately these character flaws have kept with me in the first four months of JVC, and it has really bothered me.  Yes I am no longer using a car, or spending nearly the same amount of money as I was, but I know I can do better.  
I had spent some time recently thinking about why JVC would make something like living simply one of its values, besides the fact that this year is supposed to be a challenging and formative year for all those involved.  And then it hit me!  Living simply is important to my time in JVC because it directly complements the other three values!  If I want to make the biggest impact on my spirituality, my community, and through the social justice issues that I am part of, I must do it by living simply.
Spirituality - Jesus called us to live simply, to sacrifice everything for the poor, and to dedicate our life serving and living with those who have less.
Community - a group of strangers making sacrifices to benefit their greater community can come together and live united.
Social Justice - living an American lifestyle while trying to end homelessness and other social justice issues is just not going to work out for you.
One of my favorite quotes is from when Gandhi said “live simply so that others may simply love.”  Wow!  And maybe that’s it!  If we can realize that living simply is not a political issue but a human issue then big things can happen.  One of the things people don’t realize when it comes to living simply is that it doesn’t have to be drastic actions and sacrifices.  If people made little steps first, it would make it much easier to take the next step once you’re ready.
And if everyone did this?  What a difference it could make!  If everyone decided to bike or take public transportation just one day a week, if they decided that they could survive with meat in only two of their meals each day instead of three, if they decided they could take a little more effort to throw things in recycle instead of the trash, if people made a little more effort to support small businesses, or check where the things they bought were made, if people bought more organic food instead of the processed crap that is killing us, if people just consumed a little less than they do now it could change the world!
These are not hard sacrifices, it is something that most everyone could do with ease.  And if people with the means to do these things did them, it would make it easier for those who had less.  Driving less, buying less plastic crap would reduce our need of oil, helping stop environmental destruction.  The 80% percent of food grown in the world that goes to animals could instead be used to feed the millions of people starving to death.  Eating healthy food, instead of fast food, could be more readily accessible to all and could help stop the major health crises facing the United States.  
Is this an idealistic dream?  Probably.  But we have reached the point of no return and if people forgot about their pride and greed for a moment we would realize that giving up just small parts of the way we currently live in this society would help the literally billions that are suffering throughout the planet.
One of the most frustrating things about my job is that it really offers no long term solutions, and that seems to be the case of many non-profit.  But this generation, seeing the problems of the world that will become our responsibility, have an amazing opportunity to change the way things are, to change the mindset of how the lives of the world citizens are viewed.  This can no longer be a political issue, we must see the value the life of every person, no matter where they live.  But to do this you must realize that you cannot continue to live your life of endless comfort.  You cannot stand up for these issues but not actually live them out.  But all it takes is some sacrifice, a sacrifice that you will quickly realize won’t kill you, in order to change the world.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Some Pictures!

In light of my last post on this blog I figured I should post something a little more upbeat.  My sister suggested writing about the things I am thankful for (bwahaha yeah right!) since today is in fact Thanksgiving, but instead I'm putting something up that my friends from home have been bothering about., coughbethcough.  So here are some pictures of my house, my job, and some other stuff I've been doing.

 Ok!  So this is my house!  The one and only 2709 Guilford Ave.  Our house is nicknamed the Arrupe House after Father Pedro Arrupe.  Look him up, he's a pretty cool guy.
The view from our front door.  Our living room is directly to the right, the main room you can see is the dining room, and our kitchen is in the back.

Our family room!  Full of wonderful used couches and a TV that usually works!



 Me and my roommates at our Thanksgiving dinner we had on Friday.  Unfortunately Tim isn't in this picture because he was taking it!  Anyway, starting from the left and going clockwise we have Erin, Stephanie, ME!, David, and Matt.








These next two photos show my bedroom, or to be more specific, my half of the bedroom.  First we have the part of my room that is visually pleasing with my bed and all my fun things I hung up.  Two things: 1.  My flag is a peace flag, it is not is support of pasta sauce.  2.  If you are wondering what that calendar is and can't quite tell, it is in fact a Twilight calendar.  And I hang it with pride, thank you Sarah Cole!




And then the not so nice part of my room.  I purposefully left out the floor so you can't see my pile of dirty clothes.  And no, that purple scarf is not mine, it was already there.


Ok so this is my work!  The St Vincent de Paul Beans and Bread Center!  This is the outside of my building.  And we just got approved for expansion so a whole new building will be going up behind these two.  Unfortunately it won't be open until after I'm gone.  :(  Also, you will notice in the pictures that there aren't any people.  I took these pictures after we closed because out of protection of my clients, I'm not allowed to take pictures of them.
This is the day resource center, where clients can pretty much come and hang out all day.  Besides case work, which is what I do, there are usually other things going on for the benefit of our clients.

 This is my casework desk!  I didn't take a picture of my other desk in my office, because it's pretty underwhelming and I don't do a lot in there.  Anyway, this is where I meet with all my clients everyday and try to provide them with whatever it is they are looking for.  Clothing, housing, shelters, jobs, health care, food stamps, cell phones, IDs, birth certificates, eviction prevention, mental health treatment, and drug/alcohol treatment are just some of the things I do on a daily basis.




This is our dining room.  Lunch is served six days a week and never closes, not even in Blizzards.  There are 34 spots available at one time and we usually serve between three and four hundred people each day.  Due to my case work schedule I don't get to serve in the meal program very often, but every time I do it's a blast.



 So this chaos is my storage unit.  One of my main responsibilities is organizing all the new donations of clothes and hygiene items that come in, so I can give them to my clients during casework.  It usually isn't this crazy but we get a lot of food donations during the Holidays.  I'm in the process of setting up a canned food giveaway for next week.  So guess who went through all that food earlier this week?  Yep...me.


 Ok so due to me being kind of dumb, these pictures are going to be pretty small, but hopefully it'll work.  Anyway, since he wasn't in the last picture, I felt obligated to put in a picture of Tim.  So that's Tim.  The picture above is really awful and I apologize.  Anyway, that's all of us at the National Aquarium with one of Jesuit support people Sean.

This picture is from the Stewart/Colbert rally.  In the ensuing party I was the only person from my house so I was adopted by the Camden house.  


These two pictures are from our party during Labor Day.  The first one is me and Tim with the lovely ladies from Raleigh.  They're a fun house whom we often swap drunk messages on our phones with.
This picture is me and Tim dancing.  After being challenged to a dance contest we may or may not have busted out a choreographed dance to Bye, Bye, Bye.  We also may or may not have practiced for a few hours the night before.

 This is my house!  Finally all six of us.  Ok starting with the bottom row.  Steph is from San Antonio and went to Our Lady of the Lake University, she works at St Francis Academy running an after school program.  Erin is from Connecticut and went to Holy Cross, she works at the Public Justice Center mostly doing eviction prevention.  Matt also went to Holy Cross and is from the 'Cuse, he teaches at Cristo Rey, a Jesuit High School..  Tim is from Atlanta but went to school up at Boston College, he is a resident assistant at the Don Miller Homes, a place for people with HIV/AIDS.  Dave also teaches at Cristo Rey.  He is originally from Cleveland, now lives in CT, and went to school at Providence College.

And this last picture is of me at the Newark Christmas party, after getting rid of my costume I had parts of eleven different JVC communities costumes on.  Great Success.

Ok well thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed all the photos.  As always, please post any comments or questions you have.  Love you all!

Monday, November 22, 2010

A Rough Day at the Office and a Call to Action

Last Thursday, the 18th of November, I arrived to work about a half an hour before I’m supposed to.  This isn’t anything rare, as my arrival time is influenced solely by what time my bus picks me up.  As busses run on schedules, 8:30 is becoming the time I now start work.  Anyway, I showed up to work where things were on the brink of chaos, due to none of the security cards being there yet.  After I helped one of my coworkers Carl, who is an incredible man with an incredible story, set everything up, I walked back to my office thinking that this was surely going to be one of those days.  I had no freaken idea.
As soon as I got to my office I got a Carl who was working at the front desk saying that there was someone from John Hopkins Hospital on the line wanting to speak with a social worker.  As I was the only social worker there at the time, the call went to me.  I answered the phone, introduced myself, and asked what I could.  She replied, “I’m a social worker in the Emergency Room at JH, I have a Mr. (name omitted, sorry guys), and I need to get in touch with his next of kin.  The address for Beans and Bread was the only contact information he had on him.”
Oh shit I thought.  It is not a shocking statement to say that a lot of homeless die for various reasons; exposure, drug overdose, murder, malnutrition, or any other of the numerous causes.  I had wondered at various points in my first three months in Baltimore if I was going to have to experience the death of any of my clients.  Obviously that answer is yes.
With the social worker from John Hopkins still on the phone, I looked up the client’s information on our online database.  I didn’t recognize the clients name, we literally have over a thousand clients, with hundreds using our address as their own, and I wondered if I even knew him.  The information provided by our database proved to be of no help.  I then asked the social worker for a description of the client so I could go around to my coworkers and ask them if they could identify the man.
The first two people I talked to were one of our case managers for our permanent housing program and one of our security guards, both of whom had been at Beans and Bread for several years.  They quickly identified who the client was and in saddened voices told me who he was.  It was with great astonishment followed by sudden sadness that I realized who the client was.  He was someone who came to Beans and Bread everyday for apparently many years.  Minding how own business he came in not saying a word and slept for a couple in the exact same chair until we had to kick him out when we closed.  It then dawned on me, as we were standing in the front room, that I had seen him in that exact spot the day before.  It was a really weird feeling for me.
To this day I am surprised by how much this has been affecting me, I barely knew the man and don’t think I actually ever spoke with him.  This was an important moment for me because if I want to keep doing social work and working with the world’s poor I have to see this side of it.  One of the biggest things that struck was when a coworker responded after finding out by saying “There goes another name on the memorial wall.”  The death wasn’t a surprise, it was almost routine.  This situation really started getting to me as I found out more details about the death.
Every morning our clients line up to be either the first in line for our meal program or to sign up for casework and the other things our outreach center offers each day.  Since we do not open our doors until 8:30, many clients wait for quite a while to get into our facility.  From what I understand, the client collapsed while waiting in line on Thurday morning.  An ambulance was called, but didn’t show up for a half hour!  By that time it was already to late.  This is unacceptable.  Ambulances are often called at Beans and Bread due to clients going through withdrawal or having mental health breakdowns, and it would seem the dispatchers thought this was one of those times.
But I can’t get the thought out of my mind that they simply did not care, that a homeless man’s life is less important than the “average” mans.  Like so many times in our clients life, the system had failed him.  I do not know anything about his background but I am now mostly speaking in generalizations.  His education system failed him when they failed to provide an adequate education, quality teachers and equipment.  The prison system failed him when they locked him up for drugs or alcohol instead of helping him get treatment and kick his addictions.  His economy failed him when there were no jobs available for people with disabilities or addictions.  His city failed him when they were unable to build new houses to replace all those that had been torn again.  We failed him when we walked right on by without a word, or a smile, or even a quarter.  I failed him as his case worker, when I never reached out and try to provide a service that could have saved his life.
The time must come when we reevaluate our priorities as a society.  There is often a saying about the people of our generation who are interested in social work in that we really only care about the topic we are working on.  Like in my case, homelessness.  If we can realize that all the problems of our society are interrelated then maybe real progress can occur.  We can not continue to live the lives we living, because they directly lead to the suffering of others.  Changes have to be made.  And these changes need to be drastic.  But more than anything, we have to care.  We have to care about the lives of every single person we encounter and to do our part to improve the lives of those around us.  If every single person in the United States found even one cause and contributed, what a difference it could make!  Apathy can no longer be the defining adjective for our country, it must be love.  As someone much wiser than me once said, you don’t have to like everyone, but you do have to love everyone.
Thanks for reading, God Bless.  Please comment if you have any questions, comments, or concerns.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Highs and Lows of Case Work

I have now been at my job for the greater part of two months, and I finally feel like I have a grasp on what I'm supposed to be doing.  I love working with all my clients, even though there are a few that are frustrating to deal with sometimes.  And I finally feel comfortable referring them to all of the different resources that Baltimore has to offer, though there are still lots to learn.

Case work has been a very rewarding, albeit exhausting, experience.  When I sit at the desk with a client and hear their story, all the hardships they've had to go through it, it effects you.  There have been three experiences with my clients that have moved me in one way or another, even though they're not always good.  I want to tell you about these three experiences.

1.  In my two months here I have learned that Baltimore apparently does not have seasons.  Only a few weeks ago the highs were still in the nineties, until in literally just a couple days the high was in the low sixties, and the nights were getting very cold.  Luckily, one of the services I am able to offer my clients is one winter coat per year.  As soon as the weather turned, these coats were in high demand.  One specific client came in and asked if there was any way I could give him a coat, which I more than happy to do.  When I went back to our cabinets that hold the coats and brought it out, his face just let up with a smile.  He was so happy and so thankful that I gave him a coat, a task which is considerably easier than some of the things I try to do for my clients.  But it only got better.  The next three days when I walked into the center, he was sitting in the lounge area we have for clients.  Each time his face let up with that contagious smile and kept telling me how much he liked the coat.  It was amazing for me to see that something as small as giving someone a coat had such a large impact.

2.  Obviously, not all my experiences with clients are this successful, or rewarding for both myself and the client.  One afternoon a woman came in looking for housing.  This is a relatively common occurrence, after all most of my clients are homeless.  The issue with housing in Baltimore is that there simply is not enough, and most of the places I help people apply for have lengthy waiting lists.  While helping my client fill out an application for a transitional housing unit, she asked me what kind of place it was.  I explained, that like most, this would be an apartment or house where she would have her own room but have a common living area with a few other women.  This was unacceptable.  My client began to tell me that she expected to get her own town house where she could live my herself.  Oh yes, I forgot to mention that her income was only about $100 a month!  I tried to explain to her that this was unrealistic, that the people who work with me don't even have places like that.  We filled out the rest of the application, when she asked that if she got into this housing program, could she turn it down.  I was astounded by this.  Of course she could turn it down, but she's homeless!  I would have thought that she would take anything she could get to at least get out of the shelters, but I guess I was wrong.  There are of course a few clients that I have met with who appear ungrateful and demanding, but there are many more who make my experience so fulfilling.

3.  None more so than this third client.  Everyone morning only 8 people are allowed to sign up for casework, and even if they don't all show up, I'm not supposed to meet with anyone not on the list.  One afternoon a couple of weeks ago I had finished with all my clients when a man asked me if he could meet with me.  I started to explain to him the rules for case work, but when I looked into his eyes I saw a look of such sadness and desperation that I was moved to break the rules.  I brought him back to the case work desk and started the intake process, something we do with each new client to get to know their background a little bit.  One section asks about medical history, and one of the questions I have to ask clients is if they have HIV/Aids.  When I asked this he said yes and said I probably didn't want to hear about that.  It was very difficult for me to convey to him that I had no reservations about him being HIV positive and that that would in no way impact the way I worked with him.  The biggest thing that got to me about this specific client though was that even though it wasn't a big deal that I met with him and that I was able to give him a new change of clothes, he must have shook my hand and said thank you at least ten times.  He was so happy that someone finally appeared to give a damn about him.  I'm starting to realize now how important it is to not cast off the homeless people of this world as less than us.  That's total garbage and it leads to the prejudices we have against this population.

One of the things I have been doing the past week or so is training a new person, an older volunteer, in doing case work.  Unfortunately she lacks the computer skills to really do this job, but I also noticed that I was genuinely with the way she interacted with the clients, many of which I had met with before.  I expressed this concern with my director who was very happy that I had gotten to the point where I am defensive of my clients.  I thought about this some more and realized that it wasn't selfishness that made me think I should be the only working with the clients in case work, but the fact that I want the best for my clients and I feel they have a better chance for that with me instead of the other case worker.  It's also been important for me to get to know my clients and to follow through no matter how long it takes to get them whatever they are looking for.

Some other things that have been happening in Baltimore:

1.  I've had an awesome time getting to know the city, which has more then I expected to offer.  We've been going out to some bars, a couple of cheap restaurants, an amazing free bookstore that is only a few minutes walk from my house, and yesterday we went to the national aquarium as a community night.  I feel comfortable in this city now, even though everything is telling me that I shouldn't.  We also went to a really cool Aids awareness rally last Saturday down at the inner harbor.  This was a great experience for me to feel like part of the Baltimore community.

2.  Things have been going very well overall with my community.  We did a thing last week called a Dyad where we each met with one another individually and discussed our relationships.  It was a great opportunity for us to get anything of our chests that we needed to and has really helped me break through with my roommates that I had been struggling with.

3.  One of the things we decided to do as a community is run a 10k for a charity in Annapolis.  The race is the sunday right before Thanksgiving, and for the past couple of weeks I've been training, and it has been positively awful.  But I have noticed that my endurance is steadily increasing and this will surely help me accomplish one of my goals I had for this year in losing weight.

4.  I also have some other really cool things planned for the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.  Besides the race,  I plan on going to Washington D.C. twice, for the Stewart/Colbert rally, which I am excited for, and then the Ignatian Teach-in, which should be a great learning experience to share with the rest of the Jesuit community.  The week after Halloween I'll be going up to Newark, NJ for the JVC Halloween party, which should be a mess but a ton of fun.

While I have gotten over my homesickness, it was weird for me to spend my first birthday away from home.  I'm never one to make a big deal of my birthday but I definitely wish I could have spent it with my best friends and family.

That's all for now, please post any comments or questions you have!  I love and miss you all.  Go Phillies!!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Greatest City in America

As soon as I moved to Baltimore one of the first things I noticed were signs that said "The Greatest City in America."  These signs were literally everywhere, including the bench at the bus stop that I wait at every morning.  I continue to laugh at these signs every time I see them, I mean, has anyone even been to every city in America!?  It's just a ridiculous assumption.  While I am in no position to state which city in America is the "greatest," I am slowly starting to get to know Baltimore, and I wanted to tell you about it.

My house is in a neighborhood called Charles Village which is due north of downtown a couple miles.  CV was apparently named after the Village People and Charlie Chaplin (not true) and is on the east side of the Johns Hopkins campus (my current location due to lack of internet at home).  It's a relatively nice neighborhood with a lot of college students, some restaurants and bars, and a lot of activities.  This has been slightly hindered in the last few months due to a large spike in violence that continues to have the whole village talking.

My work placement is in a part of the city called Fells Point.  It is directly east of the inner harbor (downtown) by about a half mile or so.  The specific part of Fells Point my work is in is not the greatest area, with a huge housing projects right across the street.  But one day while walking around during my lunch break I headed towards the water where I discovered a huge area packed with bars and restaurants.  We went there later that night and will certainly be a location that we continue to visit.  My work is also just a couple of blocks from little Italy.  I've spent only a small amount of time in little Italy but with lots of restaurants and shops, I'm sure I'll be stopping by frequently.

Last weekend I finally had the opportunity to visit the Inner Harbor, the main tourist area of the city.  This is a very cool area that has been renovated over the last twenty years or so.  It nestled snuggly between the harbor and the main downtown area.  There are a lot of things to do here; take boat tours, go shopping, eat at great restaurants, rent paddle boats, and of course visit the National Aquarium.  Due to our limited budget we won't be able to spend much time in this area, but in September and October the National Aquarium and one other museum in the area have $5 Fridays, something I desperately want to take advantage of.

Since Baltimore is such a large city, there are still a ton of things I haven't seen or done in the city.  I've spent a little time in some other areas.  Hamden is one such area, where the Ace of Cakes building is, and a very hip area with lots of bars.  I went there last weekend for Hamden Fest, mainly just to see the toilet bowl races.  And yes, they're exactly what they sound like.  Yesterday I went to an area called Federal Hill, which is apparently where all the college students of the city go out on weekends.  Again, I'm sure I'll be spending lots of time there.

Some other things I've been up to:

Every JV house is responsible for throwing a party on whatever holiday they're assigned.  The Baltimore house, affectionately called the Pedro Arrupe house (look him up) is always given the task of throwing the Labor Day party.  Our party was a huge success (I think) with people showing up from a majority of the houses (the furthest coming from Raleigh, NC and Bridgeport, CN) and other people that we know from Baltimore.

Through my roommate Tim we have met some other volunteers that are living in the community.  These include 2 houses of Lutheran Volunteers, Mennonite Volunteers, a group of guys from Germany who are here volunteering and when asked what they like to do respond "you know, drinking, partying, clubbing."  They're fun guys.

Work has been going great.  We just got a new intern from University of Maryland who will be doing the same thing as me on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  While she was doing her training this past week, I got to do some other things that our agency does.  On Tuesday I worked in the meal program, our lunch program that serves almost 400 people a day.  This was a great opportunity for me to talk with many clients and serve a lunch number of people.  On Thursday our head of security was out doing training, so I stepped up and worked the front desk; talking to clients, watching the security cameras, answering all the calls, and doing other responsibilities.  This job was much more difficult than what I was expecting but was a good learning experience.

Life with the roommates has been fun.  We've had some good talks, spent a lot of time together, and we haven't had any problems thus far.  Living simply together has made life interesting as we look for things to do together.  Our favorite things have been watching the Wire, an incredible HBO show that shows the "true" side of Baltimore, and working on puzzles.  Yes...puzzles.

I can't believe it's already been over a month since I've left.  Last weekend was the first time I really started to feel homesick.  This wasn't too surprising for me since I experienced the same thing while in Italy.  It's been a difficult transition not being able to see friends and family whenever I like but I've gotten a lot of support and this year is already flying by.  Thanks for reading and please share any comments or questions you have.  Love!

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Longest Two Weeks of My Life

Hey everyone!  Sorry it took so long for a second post, hopefully they will not continue to be this few and far between.

Even though I left just about four weeks ago, I have only been working in my placement for two weeks, because of orientation and my returning to Oregon for my sister's wedding.  But looking back to my first day at work, exactly two weeks ago, I am shocked to learn that I have not been in Baltimore for several months now.  But that's exactly what it feels like.

I definitely wouldn't say this a bad thing.  I'm certainly still getting used to having a forty hour per week job, it's been a few years since I last had one, but my days go by relatively quickly.  I would say I'm feeling this way because of the gravity of my job.

Before I explain what it is exactly that I am doing, I'll give you some information about what happens in my building on a daily basis.  I work in a center called the Beans and Bread Outreach Center.  This is a day resource center for the homeless community of Baltimore.  A hot lunch is served seven days a week, and I believe there are around three hundred lunches served daily.  There is also a small area where people can literally just hang out for the day as a chance to get them off the streets where they can get into trouble.  There are other resources offered including a nurse, a substance abuse counselor, and case work, which is what I do.

The Beans and Bread center is just one of fourteen agencies that make up the St. Vincent de Paul Society of Baltimore.  There are two other agencies that are located in the same building as Beans and Bread; Home Connections, which is a permanent housing resource, that unfortunately only has sixty spots and has a minimum five year wait, and the Frederick Ozanam house, which is a temporary housing resource with only twenty rooms, located on the second and third floors of my building.

So about my job.  My responsibilities in the first two weeks have been to meet with eight clients a day, who sign up at our front desk, and help provide them with whatever resources they are looking for, and if I cannot meet their needs, at least point them in the direction they need to go.  These needs can be anything, and in the first two weeks I have seen very diverse needs.  Permanent housing, temporary housing, employment, health insurance, cell phones, state identification (IDs, birth certificates, SS cards), food stamps, clothing, hygiene,  and transportations are just some of the things I've been asked about.  But most of the clients come in looking for clothing, housing, or assistance in obtaining some form of identification.

The need is tremendous.  There has not been a single day when the eight spots for case work are not filled, and sadly enough, there has not been a day when I have been able to see all eight clients, mostly because they get impatient and leave.  The first day I did case work my supervisor took the reigns while I watched.  The second and third days I took over while she sat next to me and directed me on what to do.  By the fourth day I was on my own.  This was quite a daunting task because there are absolutely a ton of resources to know and a lot of different situations and questions that I haven't had to deal with yet.

After doing the case work on my own the past two weeks, I definitely have a pretty good grasp on what I'm doing and things are starting to run smoothly during my case work hours.  Soon I will begin to acquire my own clients whom I will meet with on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, and set long term goals with that we will work together to achieve.

This job is without a doubt taking a hard mental and emotional toll on me.  There have been times in the two weeks where I have gotten frustrated because I was unable to help my client with what they were asking.  Another factor of this mental and emotional exhaustion is coming from the stories I've heard.  Most of the clients I have dealt with usually have some sort of criminal history, drug abuse history, some have been younger then me, but all have incredible stories which they have been more then willing to share with me.  Some of these stories are very hard to hear but it is important for me to be an attentive listener for them because maybe that's all they actually want.

I have been warned by several co-workers, who have been more then supportive for me, to distance myself a little from my clients because it can directly affect me.  After being around it for only a couple of weeks, I know exactly what they mean.  But it's been amazing to see the level of respect that each person who works at Beans and Bread has for every client who comes in.  It is important to treat the clients like human beings, because that's exactly how they deserve to be treated.  Towards the end of the day on my first day, my supervisor came into my office and gave me a bit of advice which has really had an impact on me.  She told me that "even if you cannot help them with what they need, and a lot of times that will be the case, always smile at them and look them in the eye, because there's a good chance that you will be the only person that does that for them today."

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Leaving on a Jetplane

Hey everyone!

Welcome to my blog.  For the next year this should be a rather handy source in letting you know what I am doing.

For those who don't know, in about seven hours I am heading out to Baltimore to live as a Jesuit Volunteer for one year.  There I will be working at the St. Vincent de Paul Beans and Bread Center, which is a homeless shelter.  There I will be working as a Case Manager, meaning I will meet with individual clients and find resources around the city based off their needs.  These needs could include housing, employment, medical services, and much more.

Check out Beans and Bread: http://www.vincentbaltimore.org/beans_bread.html

In my time as a JV, I will be living in community with five other people from around the U.S. who will also have jobs volunteering throughout the city.  There we will live together under the four virtues of JVC; Spirituality, Simple Living, Community, and Social Justice.  More on these to come later in the year.

So some of you may be wondering what seeking the Magis means.  Don't fear, I have no clue yet either. But throughout my year I will be seeking the Magis and want you to tag along in my journey.
In a quick nutshell, Magis "is best understood as a lifestyle rather then an act or a series of acts which demonstrates a person's commitment to the "more." Magis is a relationship term meaning that it applies to personal relationships, both with God and with others, in terms of love."

Confused?  Me too.

So let's start this quest together.

The first start on my quest takes me to Bucks County Pennsylvania, where I will be at JVC Orientation from the 12th to the 17th.  More to come soon.